Thursday, June 9, 2011


Look. I've just seen the second, longer trailer for the new Jim Carrey comedy(?) MR. POPPER'S PENGUINS. It's one of those movies that, even if you haven't seen it, you've seen it: Carrey apparently plays a thoughtless, go-go business jerk who routinely ignores his adorable family in order to climb the corporate ladder. Then he inherits half-a-dozen adorable penguins and the chaos created by having the wacky waterfowl in his life helps help him get back in touch with his softer side, repair the rift with his family and blahblahblahyacketyshmacketyAAAAWWWwwwwwww. Trust me, the "curmudgeon/jerk/scumbag/Limbaugh finds his heart again thanks to the zany antics of some animal/ kid/magical being/ oxy-contin" movie has been made and re-made so often that it no longer needs to be written. The Script-O-Tron 5000tm just spits one out every six months or so, and they plug in whatever job-hungry meat-puppets----ahh, actors, they can dredge up.

But---this time there's a difference. Take a look at this thing:
and you can see what I saw.
Right there, at 1:36, that's actor Clark Gregg, as a guy who seems to reeeaaalllly want to get his hands on those penguins. Now, if you're reading this blog, the the odds are inhumanly high that you recognize Mr. Gregg as SHIELD Agent Phil Coulson. Agent Coulson has so far appeared in both IRON MAN films and this summer's THOR, and will reputedly be visible in next summer's much-awaited AVENGERS. Which prompts me to imagine that whenever I see Clark Gregg in a movie, whatever his character is called, he's probably really Agent Coulson, working undercover. And what on earth could SHIELD Agent Phil Coulson possibly want with six penguins? Well, assuming his request is job-related and not some personal fetish-thing, the answer should be obvious: THOSE PENGUINS ARE SUPER-POWERED MUTANTS and HE'S TRYING TO RECRUIT THEM FOR THE AVENGERS! It's sooooo obvious!

Sorry, sorry. Long day. Is that even Clark Gregg? Imdb won't confirm it---which is exactly the kind of cover-up one ought to expect from SHIELD! Ha!!!

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